Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader by Marc Lesser

Author:Marc Lesser
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library

FAILURE AND SUCCESS IN TOKYO

As is true in many areas of my life, it is easy to coach and teach others these practices. It is much more challenging to incorporate them into my own life. Here is one example of me being tested in the practice of beginner’s mind and not being an expert.

When I first began my executive coaching and leadership consulting practice, I had a fair amount of confidence despite having little experience in this realm. One day I received a phone call asking if I would facilitate a three-day retreat in Tokyo for eight CEOs and their spouses from around the world. With both excitement and concern, I said yes. I was somewhat nervous, since I had never done anything like this, and I was excited to travel to Japan for the first time and to have the experience of leading a retreat.

Weeks before the retreat, I had a series of planning meetings with one of the group’s members who was acting as the organizer. He communicated that the group was interested in experiencing a Zen style retreat. They wanted to be introduced to meditation and mindfulness practices; while they anticipated some discussion, the three days would be spent primarily in silence with a fair amount of meditation.

The sixteen participants, eight couples, were in their late fifties to midsixties and hailed from the United States, Australia, South America, and Europe. The men were all CEOs of midsized companies, and many were approaching retirement. I learned that this group had been meeting in different cities around the world once or twice a year for several years. They liked to begin their trips with a retreat, followed by touring whatever part of the world they were in for several days.

I thought the first day of the retreat went well. We sat two twenty-minute periods of meditation in the morning and in the afternoon. I organized several listening exercises and some journaling; free writing on several prompts that I gave them. Much of the day was spent in silence. I checked in with the organizer at the end of the day, who agreed things were off to a good start.

On the second day, we started with a short period of meditation, and then I suggested that we go around the table and each member of the group say one word to describe how they were feeling. The first person said, “Bored.” The next person said, “Confused.” And so it went counterclockwise around the room: “Curious.” “Tired.” “Unhappy.” “Frustrated.” A few positive and more neutral words were sprinkled among the negative ones.

I was stunned. Obviously, despite what I had thought, the retreat was not working for this group. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I felt like a failure. Here I was in Tokyo, at the first business retreat I was leading, and people were not happy. As I stood at the head of the long wooden conference table, the sixteen retreat participants looked at me, wondering what was going to happen next.

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